• [1]Home • [2]About • [3]Journal • [4]The Saturday Letters • [5]Books • [6]Contact • [7] • [8] • [9] • [10] • [11] • [12] • [13] [14]John P. Weiss • [15]Home • [16]About • [17]Journal • [18]The Saturday Letters • [19]Books • [20]Contact • [21] • [22] • [23] • [24] • [25] • [26] • [27] Blog 8/10/2024 2:10:16 AM A Diminishing Portfolio of Enthusiasms John P. Weiss / [28]14 Comments Topics: [29]Aging | [30]death | [31]Encouragement | [32]Hope | [33]inspiration | [34]Introspection | [35]Jim Harrison | [36]Life | [37]Life lessons | [38] Wisdom | [39]Thomas McGuane Everyone disburses [47118_5740] Selfie of me and my mother My mother’s room was on the third floor at Sunrise Senior Living. The third floor is the memory care unit because everyone living there has some form of dementia, except for my mother. Her body was shriveled up and mostly frozen from late-stage Parkinson’s disease, but her mind was sharp. When we first moved to Nevada and I was choosing an assisted living community for my mother, Sunrise Senior Living stood out as the most beautiful and professional. But they only had two rooms available—one on the second floor, and one on the third floor. My wife, a hospice nurse, recommended we select the third-floor unit. “But that’s the memory care unit. Everyone there has dementia or some form of memory loss,” I told my wife. “I know, but that means the staff-to-patient ratio will be higher. And since she can’t walk or leave her room, she’ll see the staff more. You know how social your Mom is,” my wife said. My wife is brilliant. We chose the third-floor room, and sure enough, Mom loved it. There were views of the mountains outside her bedroom window, and the staff loved visiting with her because she was outgoing and of sound mind. I frequently visited Mom and brought her cupcakes, snacks, and new books to read. And when she could no longer hold books, I hired a woman to come and read to her. But then she and the woman became good friends and often spent an hour chatting, which was fine with me. All I wanted was for my mother to be comfortable and happy. We’re both still here, for now In the last year of my mother’s life, she loved to reminisce and talk about the past. Sometimes it’s unhealthy to wallow in the past or romanticize days gone by with rosy retrospection. You can get stuck there, and forget how to live in the present. But when your life is reduced to a bed and four walls, sometimes the past is all you can escape into. Mom would tell me about the old haunts in Long Island where she grew up and used to play at the beach. I’d bring my iPad during our visits, look up those old places, and show Mom photos and videos. This delighted Mom, and soon we were looking up her old friends, “to see if they’re still alive,” Mom would say with a laugh. We found one of her childhood friends, Elsie, and even located a phone number. We called, and amazingly, Elsie answered. For the next thirty minutes or so, Mom and Elsie traversed the landscape of their early days and all the fun they had in the sun and surf of Long Island, New York. As they spoke, I envisioned the sunny skies and seagulls flying over them. I heard the surf crashing on the beach not far from their blanket on the sand where their picnic lunch included sandwiches, sodas, and laughter. Eventually, my Mom and Elsie said their goodbyes. After the phone call, Mom became a bit quiet and reflective. Then she looked at me and said, “You don’t know how wonderful those years are until they’re gone. Most everyone disappears.” “Well, we found Elsie. She’s still here,” I said. Mom nodded in agreement, looked out the window, and said, “We’re both still here, for now.” Freshen up your feelings about being alive On the shelves in my home library are several books by the late author [40]Jim Harrison, perhaps best known for his novella, [41]“Legends of the Fall,” which became a movie starring Anthony Hopkins and Brad Pitt. Harrison was a friend of the late painter [42]Russell Chatham, whose beautiful tonalist paintings adorn the covers of many Harrison novels. Harrison and Chatham appeared once in an episode of Anthony Bourdain’s popular television series, “Parts Unknown.” In the episode, the three talked about food and life, as they enjoyed an amazing home-cooked meal and loads of wine. Sadly, Harrison died not long after that episode. On his [43]website, Bourdain wrote the following about Jim Harrison: “Shortly after the filming of this episode, Jim passed away, only a few months after the death of his beloved wife of many years, Linda. It is very likely that this is the last footage taken of him. To the very end, he ate like a champion, smoked like a chimney, lusted (at least in his heart) after nearly every woman he saw, drank wine in quantities that would be considered injudicious in a man half his age, and most importantly, got up and wrote each and every day—brilliant, incisive, thrilling sentences and verses that will live forever. He died, I am told, with pen in hand.” Recently, a thoughtful reader of my work sent me an email with a link to a documentary titled, “All That Is Sacred.” [44]IMDb.com described the film as follows: “In the late 1960s, poets, writers, and musicians descend upon Key West to pursue their love of literature and fishing (and cocaine and acid). Tom McGuane is soon joined by friends Jim Harrison, Richard Brautigan, Russell Chatham, and Jimmy Buffett. They create some of their generation’s best art.” Watch the documentary trailer below. It’s a wonderful documentary with interviews and film footage from long ago when all these writers and artists were young, full of life and promise. But we also see a few of them, the ones still alive, wistfully reflecting on those earlier days of fun and friendship. And then the film shares the following quote from Jim Harrison: “We go through life with a diminishing portfolio of enthusiasms.” Harrison goes on to say that we must seek, “jolts of enormous electricity,” to “freshen up your feelings about being alive.” In other words, don’t melt into your couch and stop living. Don’t give up on life just because your portfolio of enthusiasms has diminished. There are always ways to squeeze more out of life, even if you’re old and less able to do the things you used to. We have to make the special moments count. The astonishing thing about growing old is that everyone disburses My mother never let Parkinson’s disease or her contorted body stand in the way of enjoying a great conversation or buttercream cupcakes and cheesecake. [1]Mom and her desserts. Photo:[45] John P. Weiss Mom kept up on the news, enjoyed discussing politics and books, and often dispensed life lessons and advice for the young assisted living staff members who came to her to share boyfriend problems or other worries. No doubt, Mom probably confronted her own diminishing portfolio of enthusiasms, but she always had the capacity to bounce back. She made new friends, even though so many of her old friends were disappearing. In the “All That Is Sacred” documentary, writer Thomas McGuane says the following: “The astonishing thing about growing old is that everyone disburses.” Sadly, I have found this to be true. Retirement and aging mean that people often move. Some pass away. Others lose touch because their lives have changed, and new priorities emerge, like grandkids, doctor appointments, and such. What do we do when confronted with this diminishing portfolio of enthusiasms and everyone disburses? We follow Jim Harrison’s lead. We make new friends. We enjoy good food and drink. We celebrate the great outdoors. We continue loving those close to us, including our animal companions. And most importantly, we continue to embrace our creative passions. To the best of our ability. Jim Harrison, despite his aging and decrepit body, got up every day to write by hand. On his last day, before a heart attack ushered him beyond the veil, he was seated at his writing desk with pen in hand composing a poem. Now that’s the way to go out. [47118_5633] Support my creative work. This site is free of ads and paywalls. If you enjoy my work, please leave a donation of any amount. Just click the secure link below. I appreciate your support. [46][5035687org] [47]Privacy Policy & Legal Stuff Related Posts • [48]How to Carry the Burden of Someone You Love • [49]Life Is So Terrible and Beautiful at the Same Time • [50]The Unheard Songs of Life • [51]Days of Grace Share This Post • [52] • [53] • [54] • [55] • [56] • • • ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ Comments 14 Responses to A Diminishing Portfolio of Enthusiasms [57][20] my mom working on a piece of art a week before she passed at 93:: [58]https://vimeo.com/509576413/0d86416709?share=copy Posted by [59]Walter Paul Bebirian · via [60]johnpweiss.com · 2 days ago [61][73] Just beautiful. I read your writing every Saturday. I look forward to it! I love when you write about your Mother! Posted by [62]Frankie Jackson · via [63]johnpweiss.com · 2 days ago [64][46] I know I have said it before ... "This is one of the best you have written!" I shared it to my FB page because I believe in all that you have written here... having lost my Mom three years ago, and Dad three years before that. These things you mention are extremely important... life is so worth living! Posted by [65]Marsha Hamby Savage · via [66]johnpweiss.com · 2 days ago [67][b0] John - you write beautifully, and I thank you for sharing your talent with us. This essay contains important lessons to help us maneuver life's ups and downs. Posted by [68]Donna Skeels Cygan · via [69]johnpweiss.com · 2 days ago [70][af] Great piece, John. My mom turns 90 in September and I'm planning a surprise party with her remaining friends and family (don't tell her!). She had six sisters and three brothers. Only four remain and she's the oldest still living. In sending out the invites, I was aware of the people who have "dispersed". Mom is still sharp and we speak regularly. I greatly enjoy when she tells stories of her life and have tried to record some of them. I'm sentimental like her and know that in years to come, I will be playing them back. But for now, I just want to appreciate her today. Posted by Jim Edmonds · via [71]johnpweiss.com · 2 days ago [72][8d] I can't help it, I always smile when I see a picture of your mom. How precious she is all dressed up with her hair coifed, her pearls, and always a smile. She reminds me so much of my mom. I think they would have been great friends. The city girl from Long Island, and the farm girl from Washington would have shared stories of life and love spending the afternoon lounging over their favorite desert and a cup of coffee! Posted by [73]Ron · via [74]johnpweiss.com · 2 days ago [75][15] What a beautiful essay, particularly your lovely and loving writing about your mom! I read a book a while back , Live Life in Crescendo, I believe the title was, that embraced this essay's main point - even as you age, keep discovering and contributing. Thank you John, for this insightful writing today. Posted by Shirley · via [76]johnpweiss.com · 2 days ago [77][av] This one really hit the mark today! I forgot how much change and adventure is needed so I don't become so sedentary! I can keep my mind busy most days but occasionally a person needs the extraordinary to feel that enthusiasm of life as time goes on day to day. Posted by julie · via [78]johnpweiss.com · 2 days ago [79][4f] What a wonderful way to be ushered into your meaningful and poetic stories. Recently, life has been keeping me too busy for much of anything beyond the necessaries. Thank you for the fresh breath Posted by Ruby Boddie · via [80]johnpweiss.com · 2 days ago [81][bf] I really think life is more enjoyable if lived fully! I loved the message of this article! It's not only up to me, but in my power, to make the most of my life, and how I approach living is how I will experience life. I am a product of my own viewpoints. But I would like to make a comment about admiring Jim Harrison. Yes, his natural talent and serious devotion to writing gained him a large audience, but I want to challenge admiration of his lifestyle. As someone who has lived a lifestyle of rapacious unrestrained lascivious abandon, and as someone who has also experienced the greatest sort of adventure, fulfillment, and accomplishment practicing a different sort of lifestyle guided by diligent, clean, and healthy, nourishing and enriched abundance, I would like to assert that to admire his behavior is misguided. He may have been a great and accomplished writer, but to what higher planes and novel achievements may he have reached if he cared for his mind and body? Such a great potential as Harrison possessed was surely sadly less than the lofty or ground-breaking writing he would have produced if he took good care of himself? I will soften this remark by saying that it is each person's responsibility to make decisions about who they are, and for all I know, he has lived the most glorious existence of any person ever, but I can't fail to speak up for the lessons learned from my own life Posted by Leslie Elizabeth Taylor · via [82]johnpweiss.com · 2 days ago [83][3e] Jim was part of a circle of movie people I mingled with, as was Sam Shepherd and Buck Henry, among others. . He had an aura of melancholy.. Gentle, deeply kind, an empathic listener he was often quiet in the middle of groups. His personality seemed deeply rooted in the Northern Woods. I loved the simplicity of his books. They were bare boned and raw. Ruthlessly carved down to the sacred heart of the characters and their stories. I especially loved Legends of the Fall. He drank his whiskey with one ice cube and leaned in while talking to a friend. Posted by Sam Crespi · via [84]johnpweiss.com · 2 days ago [85][45] Love this! It is entirely possible to live well in old age, even with a "diminishing portfolio of enthusiasms." Attitude is everything. My mother taught me by example, and I am practicing now. Greet each day with gratitude and look for its gifts. Don't focus on what you've lost; relish what you still have. Notice people. Engage. And by all means, eat dessert and keep writing! Posted by [86]Aileen Gronewold · via [87]johnpweiss.com · 1 day ago [88][4d] I look to your Saturday letters every week. They inspire me to live life better and notice the important things around me. I also love your cartoons. Please keep adding them! Posted by Betty · via [89]johnpweiss.com · 12 hours ago [90][2d] I love this piece and your writing in general. I have stockpiled several of your letters so that I may enjoy them slowly and in depth. I purchased your first book and am looking forward to the release of The Morning Fox soon. 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